By the time I see couples in my office, they have tried to do everything they can on their own to work through the difficulties they are encountering. They've run into a wall that is either caused by an accumulation of sorrows or a significant crisis, or a combination of the two. They've depleted their own internal resources and their energy to replete them is dangerously low. Often bruised and defeated, they are coming into counseling with a desperate plea for direction. Their eyes beg the questions: Should they try to re-create a better relationship, take some time away from each other to reformulate, or give up?
In that first critical session, we must make the tentative decision together as to whether there is hope for regeneration. That conclusion is based on the answers to six questions: Do both partners want the same thing? Is there enough energy left in the relationship to give them the fuel they need t...
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