“Are You Better Off?” S5 / E22

May 2, 2013 9:03 PM

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When I was a kid, I thought being an adult meant having a solid job and a girlfriend/wife who would sit on the couch while I played video games. You know, stability. (Or, failing that, it meant having completed my Bar Mitzvah and used my money to buy some sweet Stüssy clothing and Oakley sunglasses.) But as I’ve grown older, I’ve realized that I’m not the kind of person who’s wired for complacency. Nothing ever feels complete; even writing these recaps can be overwhelming because I’m chasing the impossible ability to perfectly articulate what’s swirling around in my brain. There are few moments when I’m capable of taking a deep breath to let things simply be. Stability is many, many steps removed from even that, and I doubt I’ll find it any time soon.

But I’ve never felt more like an adult than I do now, largely because I’ve realized that the metric by which I judged adulthood has been flawed for years. Stability is bull—what makes me an adult is self-awareness. The ability to know who I am, where I stand in the world, and what I can do to better...

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