Are You Addicted to Blaming Others?

January 27, 2015 2:59 PM

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Charles consulted with me because his wife of 18 years had threatened to leave him if he didn't stop blaming her all the time. He admitted to frequently blaming her in a variety of situations. He blamed her if he thought she made a mistake, and if he thought she was wrong about something, and when he felt alone, and even if he had a bad day at work. He blamed her for asking him questions when he didn't know the answer. He would sometimes even blame her when his golf game was off. He always blamed her when he felt judged by her, or when he didn't get her approval. While he freely admitted that he blamed her, he couldn't seem to stop, and he had no idea why he blamed her.

As I explored various situations with Charles, it became apparent that he was not just blaming his wife. He was also constantly blaming and judging himself. He would verbally beat himself up for mistakes, telling himself things like, "I'm such a jerk," and would often say very negative things to him...

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