Why I Won't Be Losing Weight For My Wedding

April 1, 2015 2:50 PM

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Last weekend, I found myself somewhere I never thought I'd be: in the meeting room of a luxury hotel, surrounded by glittery signage, pink cupcakes neatly arranged on gold trays and shimmering gowns, unable to escape a relentlessly perky woman who wouldn't stop asking if she could curl my hair.

I was at, yes, a bridal fair -- and for anyone who considers this a feminist affront, let it be known that my main prerogative was to score some free champagne, and that I indeed enjoyed three complimentary flutes. So there's that.

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