Why Isn't It Enough?

October 22, 2014 10:18 PM

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Why Isn't It Enough?

Planning isn't my strong suit. Not because I'm not smart or logical enough. Not because I'm not a process person, but mostly because thinking more than a week out stresses the ever loving crap out of me. I don't know why. I mean. I do. Chemically I'm depressed and suffer from anxiety so stress is going to be a thing that happens. This year has been amazing from the get go. I've been able to get closer to my friends and family than I think I ever expected to. I've been able to gain a platform that helps my writing gain visibility. But I never thought I'd see the age of 30 let alone 31. Not because I have any fatal disease, but... well, frankly... I think I always anticipated I would have killed myself by now. For some reason being in the shadow of my 31 birthday, and still here, stresses me out.

I never claimed anything about the mental health issues I find myself facing was logical. I mean, I can sit here and know that my life is pretty darned awesome. I am employed full time. I have benefits. I get paid pretty well for what I'm doing. I have a regular schedule that I can plan around. I'm ...

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