We All Secretly Hope Jay Z and Beyonce Get Divorced

August 8, 2014 8:55 PM

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On Wednesday night, Jay-Z and Beyoncé, who are so private they refused to tell us why Jay-Z was kicked repeatedly in an elevator by Beyoncé’s sister Solange—even though we really wanted to know, even though the pain of not knowing never subsides—once again showed movies of their daughter on a Jumbotron. If putting babies on Jumbotrons were a press release, by the way, it would read: “Please leave us alone. Our private lives are sacred. And also please enjoy these images of our daughter on a Jumbotron.”

Displaying one’s infant child on a Jumbotron seems like a strange reaction to being in the spotlight, rather like a homeopathic remedy given in unsuitably large quantities. My immediate thought, probably not original, was that they were just trying to use the child as a sort of decoy: “Look at the t...

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