Want to Harm Your Relationship? Here Are 2 Easy Ways! | Douglas LaBier

February 13, 2015 5:02 PM

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One partner withdraws, emotionally, when confronting differences or conflicts, and then hunkers down, waiting -- or hoping -- for the conflict to go away, somehow. The other partner conveys his or her desires or feelings by, well... saying nothing. The magical thinking, here, is that the partner will, of course, know how to mind-read, and then respond accordingly, as one hopes and expects.

It's classic -- and you can almost hear a Strauss waltz playing as the couple does this little dance together. It's very familiar in psychotherapy, and now some empirical research has honed in on this pattern. It shows the different ways in which both withdrawal and mind-reading harm relationships; ...

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