After reading this post on a woman who hates sex because of her childhood sexual abuse history, a reader suggested that I write a post for partners of people who have experienced sexual abuse. This is a great idea, since this often comes up in couples counseling. By the time they come in for treatment, there have likely been many years during which the partner abused in childhood has not enjoyed sex (if she ever did), and her partner is frustrated, confused, angry, and hurt. (I'm going to use examples of a woman with a sexual abuse history and her upset husband, since that's what I most often see in treatment, but my points will apply to people of both genders in any type of relationship.)
-- "I don't get it. What happened to her has nothing to do with me and our life together."