Trust Is a Weird Thing

November 12, 2014 7:29 PM

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Trust is a weird thing. "It has to be deserved," I once said to a person I just met and got him really upset. He believed that trust was to be given upfront, and not giving it was equal to stating, "I don't trust you." Fast forward, I look at the person I was, sitting at that dinner table. I realize that I was not ready to understand that strange perspective. It took me a while to notice how much I valued it when someone trusted me upfront, without even knowing me. It made me feel honored with what seemed a gift, and it triggered in me the spontaneous reaction to be at my best to deserve that present. One day I realized the inconsistency -- between my position of not trusting upfront, and the wonderful feeling of being trusted upfront myself by others. So I decided to stay with what felt better -- and to do it myself.

Now that was not an easy habit to develop. I grew up in a culture that values friendship so highly, that it takes priority above the law or the rules. For instance, if you are a cop and a neighbor drives through a red light, you may stop him/her but giving a ticket would be declaring the end of the ...

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