Disclaimer: This is a semi-fictionalized version of my all-too-real experiences working as a DJ in New York City. Most of the names of venues, organizations or people mentioned herein have been changed or, in some instances, totally pulled out of my ass so stop even trying to guess, cool? Cool.
I first realized I was old at age 20. In fact, I remember precisely when decided I had already missed my moment. It was 2007, during my sophomore year of college in Washington, D.C., and I stumbled on a piece of web content that brought my utter archaism into austere relief.