Tonight Comedy Central airs the Roast of Justin Bieber, and we’re just going to say it: this is the worst television decision since The Swan got greenlit. Look, we get why Comedy Central did it. Bieber’s a big star in “key demo” metrics like Twitter followers, Lamborghinis, and having absolutely zero ability to cope with having fame or money. Getting him to agree to be roasted is a huge coup for the network—or would be, if that’s what actually happened. Instead, Bieber’s management realized that being rightfully despised for one’s actions isn’t the best PR strategy, and trotted him out on a bullshit goodwill tour to make him seem like a human being.
“They say that you roast the ones you love, but I don’t like you at all, man. I’m just here because it’s a real good opportunity for me. Actually, you should thank me for participating in this extremely transparent attempt to be more likable in the public eye. And I hope it doesn’t work.”