A friend of mine was taken out to dinner on Christmas Eve to a classy hotel. She was dressed in black velvet and pearls. They had just finished a lovely meal in the dining room. The waiter brought the bill. She watched as her date reached into his pocket and handed the waiter two slips of paper.
"Not during the holiday season, sir," sniffed the waiter. "Besides, these discount coupons expired. Two months ago!"