For over 13 years, I'd been doing extensive self-awareness work -- therapy, meditation, energy work, self-help books, classes and intensive yogic training. Many teachers, many lessons, so much learning and growth -- but I still felt crappy.
I found myself crying a lot, so I'd take long bike rides to lessen the pressure. I would ride fast and far, mostly to escape my feelings. While peddling I had glimpses of presence and peace, but off the bike I was left feeling like I wanted to scream.