As the hype around the TLC show My Husband's Not Gay begins to wane, I find it a shame that there has been little attention paid to the perspectives of straight women who have experienced being in a mixed-orientation marriage, where one spouse is gay and the other is straight. Most of the opinion pieces written about the show are by lesbian and gay individuals, religious writers and people trolling the Internet. Straight spouses who find themselves in mixed-orientation marriages generally do not end up on a reality show standing by their lesbian or gay partners. The reality is too complex, hurtful and shrouded in embarrassment.
This embarrassment is also felt by the lesbian or gay spouse and is not to be diminished. The straight spouse, however, experiences these things from a different angle, and it is important to not overshadow his or her journey.