What Readers of Fifty Shades of Grey Want Their Male Partners to Learn From the Movie (If They Agree to Go See It)

February 10, 2015 9:22 PM

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With the premiere of Fifty Shades the movie widely anticipated this Valentine's Day, I think it's important to look at what heterosexual men can learn about what women are seeking in the fantasy that is Christian Grey. I would say that for 99% of my clients and those of my colleagues, their male heterosexual partnered/married clients did not read Fifty Shades of Grey. Even when their wives and girlfriends became more turned on and initiated more frequently they didn't read the book. While I could surmise that one of the main reasons for avoiding the book may have been that it wasn't going to turn them on, I would add that perhaps they didn't think a fantasy story of a billionaire sweeping a virginal young woman off her feet had much to teach them about sex. However, I feel it's time men perk up and pay attention this Valentine's day to what more than 100 million readers (mostly women I'm assuming) the world over have discovered about their sexuality and what they erotically respond to in a lover.

I will start off by saying that the character of Christian Grey is one who has been traumatized early on, and has a lot to learn about healthy attachment and boundaries. I also want to reiterate that he is a fantasy character and I think women were responding to the more erotic elements of his demea...

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