A committee of the Tisch School of the Arts solicited speech proposals from the student body for the upcoming 2015 Tisch Salute. My speech was rejected. It has since been revised, though the majority of the second half remains essentially identical. I took out a lot of jokes, because frankly, they were awful. In accordance with my subject, I am publishing my speech to honor the poignancy of its rejection.
Dear fellow graduates, Congratulations! We've graduated. This is a feat, and I hope you're taking a minute to reflect on what it is, exactly, we've accomplished. I marvel at our accomplishments, and more so I am honored to share this monumental day with each and every one of you.