The New Trailer For "Fifty Shades Of Grey" Is Full Of Terrible Dialogue, Airplanes, And Doin’ It

November 14, 2014 7:29 PM

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The New Trailer For "Fifty Shades Of Grey" Is Full Of Terrible Dialogue, Airplanes, And Doin’ It

There’s a new trailer for what might be the most anticipated mid-February theatrical release of all time: the film adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey. The film gets its late-winter release not because the studio is trying to bury it, but because it might sell a bazillion tickets on Valentine’s Day to people who wish they were coming home to be tied up by a besuited gentleman who speaks in stilted dialogue like “I exercise control in all things” and “I had a rough start in life. That’s all you need to know.”

There’s a very real possibility that the Fifty Shades of Grey movie will end up defining sexiness for a generation, and if that’s the case, that will be a generation that is turned on by some rampant cheese. In addition to the dialogue, the set up of the film is full of choices so hilariously obviou...

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