My Last Baby's First Haircut

April 8, 2015 6:18 PM

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My Last Baby's First Haircut

The first of the curls dropped in almost slow motion to the floor over 25 years ago. He was 2 and they were oh-so-brilliantly blonde. It was the late '80s, so I left just one long curl until my Father bribed him with a new toy to let him cut it off. Those first goodbyes to our little one's curls take a little bit of our heart each time, and I didn't know then just why. Maybe I was just too young to understand. Maybe it was because my first baby's independence would be essential to mine. We were growing up together. His not needing me was an accomplishment for him and a little bit of freedom for me. There were two more first curls, some golden and some brown to hit the floor, each one carefully preserved and marked "first haircut," and each one with a stronger twinge of an almost physical pain as my babies slipped away. They never come back, those first curls. Those quiet nights and those exhausted mornings with only the smell of milk on their breath fade away too quickly.

Older now, I was more aware of the special moments, wanting them to last forever, and knowing that the end goal of this whole motherhood thing concludes where it should. It ends with grown and independent people whom we hope we have raised right, and we hope will come home to see us, although sadly,...

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