For years and years, I've subconsciously lived my life based on a point system. I've kept a running tab -- a hidden error log file -- where I've silently collected points like a mathematician. I've tallied and subtracted, multiplied and divided, constantly totaling these stupid points based on... oh, I don't know. People, I guess. Approval, mostly. If I aligned with society's standards. Lived up to expectations. Followed through.
My point system is quite simple, really. So simple that it just happened without me even realizing it, as if this was my brain's autopilot setting in determining my self-worth. The points were a way for me to see if I was winning at life or not. The higher the points, the better I was doing.