Happens every year: It’s Oscar night, maybe two hours in, and they’re nowhere near Best Actor or Best Actress. Your increasingly embattled host is exhausted, eager for a tequila, trying to remember why he or she took this thankless job. The show is dragging on like a seventh-grade school play, and the TV audience at home starts getting cranky with Hollywood’s Big Night.
This year’s Academy Awards telecast clocked in at 3 hours, 38 minutes—roughly the time it takes to drive your mom from Pittsburgh to Washington, D.C. Even if you stayed up Sunday, you’ve already forgotten what won Best Picture.