Lessons Learned in Loss: How to Prepare for the Unpreparable

February 6, 2015 8:01 PM

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I've spent most of my life preparing for things. Rehearsing countless hours to land that lead in the musical, studying late into the night to get that "A," juggling academics, extracurriculars, and volunteer work to assure I would get into a top college. In graduate school, I wrote all of my papers two weeks before they were due. I was always early (or at least right on time) to all dates or social engagements with my friends. My anxiety drove me to be overly, unnecessarily prepared for most things in my world. Sometimes it paid off. Sometimes, all I got was a super-sized helping of needless stress. But in the end I was just a dog chasing my own tail, attempting to sooth my fear of the inevitable uncertainty of life by preparing for all the things I thought I could control.

And then, one week before my 34th birthday, my mom passed away. Did I know my mom would die? Of course I did... someday. But I never anticipated that I might have to live the majority of my adult life without her. Not even a little. For the first time in my life I found myself completely and utterly...

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