'Jupiter Ascending' review: Channing Tatum, Mila Kunis are corny couple in crummy space yarn

February 6, 2015 4:27 PM

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"Jupiter Ascending" is the story of a realist who learns to believe. Yet, for someone who thinks astrology is utter hogwash, she very casually accepts the truth that she's actually the reincarnation of a space queen destined to be one of the most powerful people in the universe. She hardly gives it a second thought.

Seeing is believing, I guess. The film, from writer/directors Andy and Lana Wachowski, opens with a man telling his pregnant wife that their daughter will be named Jupiter. "Over my dead body," she says, before burglars break in, steal his beloved telescope and murder him. Irony! A couple of decades...

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