J.Lo, Lorde, 5SoS, Taylor Swift, and Apple-Murders «

November 24, 2014 7:42 PM

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Do you remember last year’s American Music Awards? No, of course you don’t. Most likely, you don’t remember this year’s American Music Awards, and those took place, uh, last night. We came here, though, not to disparage the good name of the AMAs, but to praise them for reminding us of an important lesson: Award shows are like life in that they are mostly soul-numbingly god-awful, except for a few fleeting moments of pure, unadulterated joy, which are mostly made up of Taylor Swift murdering men with apples. Anyway, here’s what you missed last night!

Swift took the concept of her “Blank Space” video live and artsy, first floating a dinner table high above us, then doing sleight-of-hand pyro magic and getting in a painting-frame fight with a red-jacketed gentleman, who appeared to be running late to his late-night shift at the Four Seasons valet ...

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