If '80s Songs Were Written Today

December 16, 2014 6:41 PM

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Young people, in order for you to understand this blog, you need to be aware of a dark time in human history. There was a time -- brace yourselves -- when people did not have smartphones or even regular cell phones. No, not even flip phones. I know. I know. Imagine a time where you couldn't check Facebook every 19 seconds or Instagram your lobster mac and cheese before you even took a bite. Dark times. Brace yourselves again. Not only were there no smartphones, but there was no Internet. So, humans had no email or social media of any kind. We -- gulp -- had to call each other on archaic devices called home phones. They hooked into our walls with wires. WIRES!! We had to sit or stand near the phone, and we could only move as far as the telephone CORD would allow.

When I was your age, back in the '80s, there was music on MTV. Odd, I know, but stay with me. A lot of the videos showed people getting emotional about phone calls. These songs also talked about people meeting in person rather than on Facebook, as nature intended. There were even lyrics about people...

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