How to Hate the Holidays

December 16, 2014 2:40 AM

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Deck the Halls with Bitterness. Count your burdens. Harvest bitterness. Take out your internal struggles on your once beloved baristas, or better yet, direct your seasonal angst at your own kin. Disregard your blessings. See only the things you don't have. Cling to consumerism. Bask in materialism. 'Tis the season to spend all of your money, after all.

Rush Through the Winter Wonderland. Huff and puff while you're waiting in line at the grocery story. Anxiously pace back and forth at the post office, as you prepare to mail those last minute gifts to long lost family members you may never see again. Weave in and out of traffic, throwing your hands ...

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