This Is What Happens When Your Roommate Drops Food On The Floor

August 14, 2014 4:25 PM

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Although it’s the most common source of tension among female roommates, this reason rarely if ever comes to light, as women are adept at obscuring insecurities behind self-righteous rationales. For example, they’ll say they think it’s morally wrong that you’re dating more than one person. They think it’s academically irresponsible to always ask for (and receive) assignment extensions from your male professors. They find your Halloween costume –- a Lady Gaga-esque take on Red Riding Hood -- degrading to women. They will wage a war of mini-battles, from eye rolls to passive aggressive Post-It notes in common areas (were you expecting one of your MANY boyfriends to empty this waste basket?), until someone prettier than you or uglier than them transfers into your townhouse.

For all his or her anthology-toting and margin-scrawling obsession, your Brit Lit-majoring roommate is headed for a decade of hostessing at Houlihan’s, and you –- with your 2.0 GPA in Business Anything -- will be financing the open bar for everyone at the 10-year class reunion. Of course it’s not yo...

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