Grief Isn't for the Faint of Heart

September 6, 2014 6:08 PM

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I've written about the death of my husband here -- -- and I've written about the challenges that come with loss. Within months of my husband's funeral, his older brother died. I flew to Florida to attend the funeral and obtained support from his family. From my perspective, much of this support faded and eventually diminished. Sadly, my husband, Roy, had predicted that this might occur. Soon after we found out that his cancer was terminal, I remember crying, and asking Roy if I would be alone. He looked at me with deep pain in his eyes, put his arm around me, and said, "I'm afraid you may not get what you want from my family." He then gave me the names of other loved ones he felt I could trust.

This didn't mean that I was sitting home alone during the holidays, but the loss of contact with his family was a secondary and painful loss. Before Roy died, there were some tensions with some of his family, but I had this magical thinking and believed that I would always be a part of his family. I...

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