Welcome to a needlessly in-depth recap of last night’s Grease: Live!, Fox’s first attempt at a live TV musical that instantly made all other TV musicals (perhaps excluding NBC’s The Wiz) look like High School Musical 2. Sorry, Allison Williams. You tried, girl. But Grease had everything: incredible production value, actually talented and charismatic humans (for the most part), impressively complex choreography, endless matching sweater sets, the exact amount of cheesiness and intrinsic misogyny that lends itself to relentless but good-natured mocking in recaps, thinly veiled attempts at grandfathering in some gender parity, and what was clearly some hardcore prep work on the part of the cast and crew. Let’s not waste time with pleasantries, though. We’ve got three hours of high-energy, high-camp theatrics ahead of us.
Grease kicks off with a rejected Sandals commercial, starring Julianne Hough and Aaron Tveit as Two People Who Do Not Understand How To Dress For The Beach. Tveit, as Danny, is particularly misinformed about beachwear, sporting a button down and hair so squat and stiff it could stand in for Ted Cruz...
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