Linda: Back in the old days, at the very beginning of my relationship with my husband Charlie, what I wanted most in my life was the comfort and security of a committed partnership. I grew up in a family where chaos and struggle ruled and I was determined not to replay that scenario in my adult life. What I wanted was peace and predictability. Because I, like most of us, chose a partner who was (it turned out to be for good reasons) very different from myself, what I experienced, particularly in the early years of our relationship proved to be more conflictual and less peaceful than what I had in mind. Sometimes Charlie and I seemed to be so far apart in our views and desires that I feared that we wouldn't make it. The fact that we did, I would attribute to some hard work, determination, good help, and love.
We both had to stretch into the other's world. (It's a long story!) Over time, he softened and I became more flexible and learned to let go of some of my rigidly held attachments.