With my young daughters strapped in their car seats, I focused on the route to our day care. I followed the double yellow lines as if my life depended on it. If I dared to look away to the right, I might spot a telephone pole. Like a magnet, my car and my mind, seemed drawn to those unforgiving towers. The nightmare played out in my head: a brief impact and finally the end. Oh sweet relief. My sadness and anxiety would be released and I would no longer be the burden on my loved ones that I imagined myself to be.
No. The girls can't be a part of this. Their lives just started. They don't deserve this. I must focus on the route. Why is this drive so long?