A Friend Called Depression

November 14, 2014 10:59 PM

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It is raining outside, and I have many chores to do, but I sit. A feeling I use to call depression, that I now call friend, has crept into my awareness, and we sit together. This feeling I now see as a gift, a gentle invitation to stop and just be. My mind goes to all the things I could use to avoid this feeling: food, social media, action adventure movies, mood and mind altering drugs, sleep, shopping and more. Instead, I use meditation to bring me deeper into this feeling until I find a point of peace and acceptance. Surrender. I am not magnificent in these moments; I am the low point in the day. I am the monochromatic cloud cover outside. I am the simple quiet room lit only with the low light of the grey day outside the window. I am the small one, the quiet one, the one with nothing to say and nothing to do. I am simple, unintelligent and plain.

But I am willing -- I am willing to be all these things because they are here and they are now. I once strove franticly for magnificence, beauty, attention and love, the kind that can only be found outside The Self. This struggling left me desperately empty. Then a gentle voice spoke to me, suggesti...

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