Fear and Loathing: Setbacks in Recovery From Depression

January 26, 2015 7:11 PM

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Depression and my refusal until recently to combat it have nearly cost me everything. My wife, only a few days ago, admitted something that I should have known but hit me like a brick nonetheless. Were it not for the few good days I had over the past few years, she would not have stayed with me. I was not the man she fell in love with, and was too stubborn, mentally ill, or arrogant to admit it. I realized then, and not the first time, that my depressive episodes were as difficult for her and my children as they were for me. However, I grossly underestimated the effect of my demeanor and mood swings on everyone in my family. Unfair though it may be, I let it continue for years as I tried willing myself into happiness. Treatment has been an enormous help, but a pill or counseling isn't a magic fix. The condition still exists.

...we are only a misstep away from plunging into darkness and crushing despair.

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