Down the Rabbit Hole | Mackenzie Ellsworth

September 5, 2014 10:07 PM

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Down the Rabbit Hole | Mackenzie Ellsworth

My world was in black and white. Days blurred together while I was caught in a gray fog. I was living in a dreamlike state. I didn't feel awake and life seemed like a nightmare. I was sleepwalking through life, in a daze and seemingly awake. I only remember wearing gray, eating gray, being gray. My life was drowning me. Just one long blur of a year trying to catch my breath, trying not to waste away. Many of my memories during this time are forgotten. Nothing seemed significant enough to remember anyway. Food had no taste, so why bother eating? My only incentive to get out of bed in the morning was to not draw attention. I continued my daily routine to stay invisible. Wake up. Ice skate. Go to school. Only speak when spoken to. Blend in. Don't draw attention. Get good grades. Be perfect.

School was boring and meaningless, my friends drifted away, and everything moved in slow motion drowning on, day-by-day. I was just there; frozen in time, just doing the "normal" routine that society thought I should do. School was yet another routine. Lunchtime was the worst. I would wait, hoping n...

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