The Celebrity Apprentice recap: 'Nobody Out Thinks Donald Trump'

January 6, 2015 6:00 AM

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My love affair with The Celebrity Apprentice began back in season 1. I can even pinpoint the exact moment when I knew we had something truly special in our midst. It was in that inaugural season when Sopranos star Vincent Pastore concocted an elaborate “rat” scheme to go undercover and pretend to be a traitor to learn all of the secrets of the women’s team. But then the rat scheme imploded when the rat in question changed his mind and decided he no longer wanted to be a rat and would rather be on the female team for real—confusing everyone (players, viewers, Donald Trump) in the process. It was quite possibly the dumbest thing I had ever seen on a broadcast network in my entire life. And I loved it.

Since then we have been treated to many more moments of insanity and inanity—country music superstar Clint Black making a commercial insinuating that he uses Tide Detergent to masturbate while reading Donald Trump books, Brett Michaels performing the Tour Bus Thrust, anything involving Rod Blagojevi...

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