Boy Next Door, The (2015)

January 24, 2015 12:39 AM

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Having risen from the ranks of the Fly Girls to enjoy stratospheric heights of success as a mediocre pop star, a notable Hollywood actress, and now a lovable, ridiculously well-paid reality television judge, is Jennifer Lopez (J-Lo to her peeps in the Bronx and your grandmother who continues her awkward attempts to be hip and “in-the-know”) now trying her hand at being a bankable Scream Queen? Still suspiciously ravishing after all these years (skin care products containing the placentas of cherubic French babies and whipped sheep semen can work wonders) perhaps Lopez is looking to the horror genre to help garner new fans and produce more off-center roles – parts that have certainly been made available to other A-listers once their mass appeal diminishes, forcing them down the path of B-movie matinee idols. Or, maybe she’s just taking whatever comes her way at this point. With The Boy Next Door, director Rob Cohen, the man responsible for kicking off the Fast & the Furious franchise (i.e. the greatest series of action films in modern history), serviceably directs a mostly predictable thriller that doesn’t deliver enough action inside or outside of the bedroom.

The titular bohunk turned psychopath in question is Noah Sandborn (Ryan Guzman), a 19-year-old high school senior now living with his wheelchair bound uncle after his parents were involved in “an accident.” Together, they look like Rick Rossovich and William Hickey from the “Tales From the Crypt” ep...

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