The Body-Image Solution: Elastic Pants

January 7, 2015 7:35 PM

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My 30s hit me a couple of years ago, and my metabolism went down the shi*ter. I miss the days when I could work out a reasonable, non-obsessive amount, eat moderately, go out drinking 'til 2 in the morning then have a greasy pizza, and still wake up thin every day. Now, if I eat one potato chip, what I wake up like in the morning is a crap shoot. I don't get it. I really don't. I'm practically a different size everyday, fluctuating up and down, never knowing when or why I'll wake up bloated. I used to be able to predict bloat days, but sadly, this seems to be no longer the case. To say this predicament is frustrating is putting it lightly. I feel the only solution is to purchase elastic pants (and bottoms) and elastic pants (and bottoms) only. These include leggings, jeggings, yoga pants, jersey A-line skirts, harem pants, gauchos, and, dare I say it, sweat pants.

The ironic thing about my body's unpredictable nature and my current wardrobe dilemma is that I can honestly say that I lead a healthier lifestyle now than I did in my 20s. I work out in some capacity nearly every day, be it via Pilates, cardio, lifting, or yoga. I even have my giant elliptical mach...

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