Being Ridiculous Is Absolutely Necessary

September 15, 2014 4:52 PM

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Being Ridiculous Is Absolutely Necessary

Elevated anxiety? Check. Racing heart? Check. Increase in intrusive thoughts? Check. I can't pinpoint the exact reason for all this crap, but I think it's a culmination of things like the unpredictability of my income, striving to make it in my writing career, and oh, my wedding that's 25 days from now. I am not at all nervous about getting married; I was ready to marry my man a long time ago. It's the hoopla and spectacle that I'm nervous about. I hate plans, details, having expectations, and being fancy; none of it's me, and I'm just really uncomfortable with having all eyes on me while not feeling like myself. The closer the day gets, the more I realize how much the whole thing is bothering me. I cried in my wedding dress the other day at my last fitting. I mean, it's a beautiful dress and all, but again, fancy shmancy is just not me, nor is wearing the color white for that matter. I felt like I was wearing a costume. Alas, all that being said, I've been so overcome with nerves and stress that my OCD has elevated to a nearly intolerable level. I have needed to find a release, and I found that release on Saturday.

Saturday, I spent the day with one of my closest girlfriends. We went shopping, an activity I normally detest, but was willing to do, since we were looking for a dress for her. Plus, I needed to get out of the house and feel like a part of society again. I also needed girl time. After spending 3 hou...

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